Welcome to the Business Bits and Bobs video series!

In this 3 part video interview, Nicolette Smith of The End of Life Care and Lynette Delane of Kits and Bits discuss how technology has changed how we deal with death.

Key Takeaways from Part 3:
1. How technology can help the grieving process
2. How technology is creating a whole new etiquette
3. Considerations for the core family members on Social Media

Nicolette works as an End of Life Doula providing information, guidance and support to those who are at the end of their life. She provides compassionate care at every step of the journey, allowing those involved to feel supported, nurtured and safe.

Nicolette’s interest in the End of Life care evolved from her own personal experiences of loss and provided her with a compassionate and respectful approach to life; a personal and intimate understanding of the grieving process and the types of emotional care needed.

Transcription for: How technology has changed the way we deal with death with Nicolette Smith of The End of Life Care [Part 3/3]
Nicolette:And I think that's the interesting thing for us now is how we grieve has changed in a way because of Facebook and it's almost like a more public, because it's on social media now, which ... You get good or bad, it's changing the face and the way we-
Lynette:Yeah. There is. There's that whole ... It can be hard in the grieving process to be constantly reminded. My sisters and I have taken my Mum on a trip the year before, very luckily we'd been able to do that, but of course, you know, six months after she's passed, all those photos are popping up about traveling with her. You're still in that grieving-
Nicolette:I've even got-
Lynette:Still bursting into-
Nicolette:I've forgot women that died two, three years ago, and every now and then their birthdays pop up and nobody's taken that down and it's like, "Gosh." It is nice, but when you're in the raw grief it's-
Lynette:Yeah, it's tough.
Nicolette:That can have different comforts down the trail.
Lynette:We just had her one year anniversary a month ago. Even that was ... Depending on your level of grief and how far through that wiggly line you've come.
Nicolette:Yeah.
Lynette:That could be tough. I was probably in a better place than I had expected to be. I did those beautiful. Getting more technology. Did this beautiful video with music and everything to watch with all the photos.
Nicolette:Yeah.
Lynette:I put it up on YouTube so that we could share it on Facebook for the people that weren't able to come to the funeral. That popped up in my memory. I was able to see and watch it with pure heart and go, "Oh, how amazing was it that? One, how amazing was she?

Two, how lucky was it that we got to spend that time with her? And then three, how amazing is it that we've got that legacy forever now to just go back? And people can watch it any time they like. They don't have to come to me. They don't have to go, "Oh, Lynette's got all the photos."
Nicolette:Yeah.
Lynette:It's there. It's public. Everyone can see it. It's not public, public. But anybody that's connected to us can see.
Nicolette:Accessible.
Lynette:Yeah. That alone is a really powerful tool. She's not hidden in a museum getting dusty.
Nicolette:Now, all that. Yeah. The photos have just been archived and like you said, for people to relive those memories, it's more of an effort to have to go and get the photos and then find the person who got them.
Lynette:And especially nine of us. That's a lot of copies.
Nicolette:Yeah. That's an expensive little printing exercise. The other easy thing is just a USB. How cheap is that?
Lynette:Now we've got our own Facebook group. We've got our own family Facebook group. I've set up a bunch of albums in there, and as I scan photos, because I've now got all Mum's photos, as we're scanning through those, I'm just uploading them and then everybody's got a copy they can download them if they want to.

The grandkids have got a copy. For all its faults, technology does have a lot of faults. For all its faults, it has amazing uses that really do bring the world, families, friends, together. I'm really really grateful for that. I'm grateful that it happened at a time that enabled that, and I'm grateful that I'm the type of person that figured that out and could do that.

There's some people still ignorant of it even our age just wouldn't even think of it. I'm really grateful that tech is in my world and I could create those lasting legacies with it.
Nicolette:Yeah. Your tech savvy. I'd have to get my children to do some of that stuff. It's always the 10 year old. "Can you fix that?" They've got a handle on it so much easier. I like that idea of having a video to create the memories as well.
Lynette:Oh, yeah. I could go and watch it now. It's there. The music makes it more personal.
Nicolette:Takes you on that journey again.
Lynette:That's a really powerful tool for us. The downside is if you're still not in the space that that's a good memory yet. That can be a little tougher to deal with. Thankfully, Facebook you can just scroll past.
Nicolette:Minimum space we can upload photos. Yeah.
Lynette:That's right.
Nicolette:I put some photos together. I like that you've got a family group. I hadn't thought of that that's family, yeah. That is a way of pooling all the resources.
Lynette:Absolutely, yeah. I've got a family group of my siblings and nieces and nephews. I've got one for both sides of ... Cousins on both sides of the family. So that we can share photos with them as well, and catch up with them.
Nicolette:That's right. What will we do if Facebook ever disappeared? We'd be all devastated.
Lynette:There's a lot of people that now, five years ago, would have gone, "I'm not on Facebook." We are now fully on it and posting all the time.
Nicolette:He's 70 and he's just jumped on and he was anti for many years. He's embraced it. He'll get photos of all sorts of things now on his Facebook.
Lynette:It's an incredible tool and if used for good instead of evil it can actually make a world of difference to people's living.
Nicolette:I guess there's, for us, a culture in socially learning, almost creating new etiquette.
Lynette:Yes.
Nicolette:It's creating a new etiquette around that and what the boundaries are around it. Especially around death, I think. There needs to be those boundaries like you guys did and just blocked it because it upsets people.
Lynette:It does. I think some of those people that are doing it have probably not experienced death in a close one.
It might be just their friend's Mum or a distant cousin or something like that. I think anybody that has probably experienced death with someone close to them wouldn't consider doing that.
Nicolette:No.
Lynette:They know what that feels like.
Nicolette:Yeah. I guess that sometimes everyone is in a grieving space. They're not thinking straight.
Lynette:No.
Nicolette:Some people probably just aren't thinking straight and do it. Once it's done, that's it, it's done. Interesting times around those sorts of things.
Lynette:We will discuss more of that space in our next chat on Digital afterlife.
Nicolette:Yes. We will.

End of Transcription N.B. This transcription has been edited for better readability, however, the general structure is the same as the video.

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Bits and Bobs an interview series for new business owners looking to avoid the pitfalls that we who have gone before have either already fallen into it and climbed out of or managed to skip over all together.
Subscribe to watch other episodes where I along with other business owners dive into some less talked about and sometimes tough subjects highlighting some of those – “I wish I had known” topics so that you can get your business going faster and easier.

Cheers,

Lynette embodies an intrinsic ability to save business owners money by delivering back the all-elusive “spare” time so they can use it to do what they love. She puts these principles into practice in her own business – Kits and Bits. Lynette is an avid genealogist and tango dancer.

Lynette Delane

Tech Translator, Kits and Bits

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